I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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