just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Boobs are out for the taking
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
In other news, I just burned my penis
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
