i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
