In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
As shirtless as possible
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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