The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dignity is for republicans.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Alive.
So much puke
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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