two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
