thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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