I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize