The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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