By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
