my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize