Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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