You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
