He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
