you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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