i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
