shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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