we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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