Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
