I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
