dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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