Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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