How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
