my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
