Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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