38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
