I puked a lego.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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