yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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