so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize