I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
