ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
