hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
