Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
