The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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