kristin has been a bad kristin
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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