her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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