i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
