I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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