Where did you get a picture of my penis
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
