were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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