I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So vagazzling was a success
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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