I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
