Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
