I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
