i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
