I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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