i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
