are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
