Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
