After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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