who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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