She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
