Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
