I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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