Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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