ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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