Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
