k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
