Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
