the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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