If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do vagina's smell?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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