Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
