Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize